License to Wed - Part 2

Cont.. Before you begin reading this article do read part 1, mentioned earlier in this blog.

Day one of the counseling class began with the religious aspects of marriage. This was a FOUR HOUR lecture about the origin and evolution of … Religion!!! What nothing bout marriage, nope.. religion and a particular sect of religion, its merits over other ‘lesser religions’ and so on. This greatly irritated me on two counts. (i) this had absolutely no relevance to marriage but just appeared to be a pretext to preach, and (ii) it was wasting a perfectly good Saturday morning attending marriage counseling (this is an underlying theme of my rant throughout this post). My girlfriend had put her head on my shoulder and had long since drifted off into a world far more pleasant that the one I currently occupied. I on the other hand was unable to fall asleep. Perhaps it was the old man’s droning voice or the heat from a room packed with 200 people or the fact that I was ‘a perfectly good Saturday morning attending marriage counseling’.

After much pleading the guy let us off for a quick lunch. The girlfriend and I were strongly considering not coming back but assuming that it could not get much worse we decided to return. Big mistake. The post lunch session was on the psychology of marriage. Here a short balding man attempted to tell us that marriage will fuck you up emotionally but its worth is coz you get to have kids. (Not exactly the best sales pitch but I do give him credit for trying). The disturbing part was when he started telling us how his wedding night went. Now I’m sure the guy was quite excited bout finally losing his virginity but honestly we were not the least bit interested in how it went. I’m not going to get into details because frankly I don’t hate you so much. The summary of the lecture was that psychologically we NEED to get married else we cannot satisfy our sexual (or as he put it sesual) desires. The man refused to acknowledge that sex without marriage even exists. Finally after much argument he said that ‘sess’ could be ‘purchased’ but that is lust.
After that ‘hot’ debate he went on to tell us how he is a famous (if not modest) psychologist and how we should go to him when we have marriage problems. Now logically if he did his job right the first time we would not have any psychological marriage problems in the first place and secondly if we did have psychological problems with marriage then why would we go to someone who did not help us in the first place. But then again this is marriage counseling (on a perfectly good weekend I might add) so logic ceases to exist. To sum up this weirdo’s ‘teachings’ its something along these lines- “one must keep things exciting, try different ‘techniques’… like buying jasmine flowers for the hair; take bath together on one bathroom, bite, nibble but don’t cause physical pain” (yes that was randomly mentioned) and was followed by an awkward silence. Eventually this ended bringing day one to a much deserved end.

Cont. Part three. – Medical aspect of marriage and Legal aspects of marriage.

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