License to Wed - Part 3

Cont.. Before you begin reading this article do read part 1 and part 2, mentioned earlier in this blog.

Day two of marriage counseling began with another rant by some religious fanatic on the ‘superiority’ on this particular religion over ‘all’ others. I did not even bother listening so I have nothing much to report. The post lunch session was on the medical aspects of marriage and was conducted by lady who was a retired gynecologist by day and an aging religious fanatic by night. The old lady started by drawing the male and female genital organs on the board (did I mention how much like a classroom this was). Now one would safely assume that a room full of soon to be married people will be fully aware about their anatomy as well as the anatomy of the opposite sex. Turns out one would be wrong. Yes there were a number of people taking down notes and copying the drawing in their books. Imaging these same losers flipping through their notes on their honeymoon to make sure they know where to put it. I mean honestly where do they find these people.

On completion of the anatomy class the next point of conversation was contraceptives and how they inspire the devil in our loins. You see boys and girls, this lady was another who subscribed to the philosophy that intercourse should only be performed in order to beget children. Therefore the act of using contraceptives was frowned upon. Now I’m not going to get into a discussion on this for I fear that there are many out there who feel the same to some capacity. Day two draw to a close.

Day three. This day was set aside for the examination of the legal aspects of marriage. Let me remind you about the environment. This was a claustrophobic room filled with about a hundred conventional couples (here conventional means male-female and no other combination). Bering that in mind this senior preacher in the religious institute decided to lecture us for about two and a half hours on the ‘evils’ of homosexuality. WFT, where’s the relevance you are. None whatsoever would be the response. This old fart went on forever on how the ‘love of a man should not be expressed to another man’ bla bla bla. Then he opened a scrapbook with newspaper clippings of various articles of homosexual-phobia and started reading each one out. If this was not painful enough he started telling us how societies abroad have brought in homosexuality to this country (which is a load of rubbish) and how legalizing such ‘unnatural’ activities will lead to the ultimate degradation of our society (more rubbish). Did I mention how much I hate bigots, religious bigots even more so. Some the guys priceless statements were – “mans inclination towards another man is accidental, it is abnormal. If it happens then the institute of marriage will be in the dustbin”. Another rather vague statement went along as follows- “the whole of life should not have any reserved places. It should remain open”. Now I’m not quite sure what the message was but I am assuming the word being spoken of was whole (i.e. with a ‘w’) and not hole coz then its just nasty. Some more random statements are to follow.

“marriage and only marriage allows the procreation of sess (sex) and sess should only be done to beget children. In that was we differ from animals.” (not really, if you think about it, I mean how many monkeys do you know if that wear a condom or dogs that go on the pill to avoid an unplanned pregnancy).

“Exchange of sexual love atleast once after mutual consent will ratify the marriage”. Gotta love theological terms, they’re just so clinical you cant take them seriously. So finally we draw to an end on the last day of marriage counseling and I have to admit, it was worse than I thought. My strong advice to all those on the verge of getting married, don’t do it man.. life is too beautiful to throw it away .. on marriage counseling.

3 Response to License to Wed - Part 3

  1. Shivani says:

    LOL!!!! My sympathies to the both of u!!!!!!! Hahaha!!! Priceless!!!

  2. I have read these posts countless number of times and I still cant stop laughing. Its hilarious.

    A part of me also cringes thinking about those 3 days. Its done and over with.

  3. Sonia, as I said earlier, if we can survive through those painfully dull classes then we can survive through anything.

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